Lies
by Ebil Chameleon
Summary: -Sequel to Truth- As time marches forward, Roxas is left to deal with the realization that everyone has a life to live and they're not always going to be there with him. -Pairs and warnings inside-
1. Prologue

**Sequel! For those who have come here and have not read my story Truth, I advise that you do so.**

**Now, I shall be brutally honest right now. This will be something totally different for me. Seriously. As readers from Truth (and some of my other stories) may know, I love to write as realistically as possible. And honestly, that's what I'll be doing. **

**I don't want to give anything away. I'm going to be exploring the ideas of human desperation and deprivation as well as typical struggles and whatnot. If you don't like the sounds of this, I'm sad to say reading this may not be for you.**

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me.

**Pairings: **Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora, Demyx/Zexion, Seifer/Hayner, Cloud/Leon, ?/? (you'll see later on)

**Warnings: **language, young adults acting like young adults, substance abuse mentions, alcohol, lemons, limes, other (?)

**Please enjoy and happy reading!**

* * *

The moment seemed to extend for an eternity. Sitting in the plastic folding chair, Mariana on his right, some unknown joyful parent clutching her purse on his left. Cheers, clapping, cat calls, hollers. Groups would stand together, applauding like enthusiastic fans at a sporting event. The booming voice in the speakers rattled off names and the further down the list they got, the tighter and tighter his throat seemed to become.

Because it was finally starting to seem plausible, that this was all really happening. The streaming colors of gold and red surrounded him and excited students pranced across the stage, shaking hands and accepting that piece of paper that said they've done something with their life. Speeches were made before, speeches would be made after. Music that was being played on college campuses across the nation was playing now. And it was all so _real_.

There was Demyx, grinning like the happy kid he was, taking his diploma and looking out, catching his mother's eye. The blonde beside him was standing and screaming, too overjoyed for her baby boy to maintain any kind of decorum.

More names were called, more students walked, more cheers erupted.

He knew the day was coming, but he hadn't really realized that it would actually _come_. The ensured future this day held was overwhelming and it was finally, _finally_ sinking in. There wasn't much time after this day, and he would just have to suck it up and make the best of it.

More and more names. They were closer, now.

His hands were clenched into tightly balled fists, resting on his bouncing legs. Mariana placed a hand on his forearm which did nothing to ease him. Her hand moved to his back and she could see the realization clicking in those beautiful blue eyes.

"Axel Shaozi."

And his throat closed entirely upon seeing the tall redhead cross the stage, graduation robes swishing back, his cap slightly crooked and tassel dancing with his ungraceful walk. Axel looked absolutely thrilled, eyes shimmering with a sense of accomplishment and meeting his beloved's wetly shining blue eyes. His grin didn't falter, probably mistaking the wet eyes for a different emotion.

And like that, the moment passed and Axel moved off the stage to join his classmates waiting to be seated. A moment that would last a lifetime, gone in mere seconds.

The names were finished, the students were all standing before their chairs and the dean of students stepped forth to announce, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to give you the class of 2012!"

And everyone clapped and cheered, caps were tossed, tears were shed, relief exploded through the room.

Roxas clapped along too, realizing that he only had a few more months with Axel until he was gone.

* * *

**Short prologue, as I wanted.**

**This story. It should be explosive ^^**

**Please leave a review, informing me of your take. I know this isn't a lot to go on, but anything would be nice.**


	2. Moving On

**Ah, and here we go ^^**

**Please enjoy and happy reading!**

* * *

_Don't lose your faith in me_

_And I will try not to lose faith in you_

-Ray LaMontagne "Be Here Now"

* * *

Just the smell of him seemed to put his mind at ease. Sure, it didn't quell the lurches his stomach gave with each passing thought, but at the moment, this was the best thing he could have. Sitting on the edge of his bed –_their bed_- he couldn't be bothered to get up and help the others. Their voices drifted up from downstairs, right through the open doorway and he couldn't really block it out. Someone asking if there were still boxes to use, another giving instructions, laughter. The laughter was so misplaced, he thought.

No, he couldn't move from where he sat, hunched a bit and staring at the floor. He didn't know if he could handle it. He'd rather wait right there in the room that was now significantly emptier and lonelier and somehow not feeling like their room anymore. The purple paint was still the same, the bed comforter messed up as usual, the purple curtains thrown open from the door to the balcony. But now there was a missing laptop, the dresser drawers held less clothing than they had mere days ago, and there was a distinct lack of presence already from the other occupant of the room.

Footsteps could be heard climbing the stairs, voices that he chose not to hear exchanged words and finally someone stepped through the door, looking just a bit frazzled and far more cheerful than he would have liked them to be. "Hey Rox, have you seen my purple sweat…shirt…"

He hated that his eyes were misty and he couldn't look up to meet Axel's look. Roxas continued to stare down at the floor, hugging Axel's sweatshirt tightly to his chest with his nose pressed to the fabric. A loving hand was placed atop his head and the blonde tried his best to keep his tears at bay. He was unsuccessful and the first drop slid over his cheek, soaking into the purple fabric he clutched. The bed shifted as Axel sat beside him, pulling his boyfriend close in an uncomfortable side hug and resting his head on the blonde's.

"This is hard for me too," Axel spoke and he held the boy tighter. "I didn't want this day to come either. But we've been prepared for it. Remember what we agreed on? Even though we'll be distanced, nothing between us will change. At least, you'll never be less to me than what you are now. This is a challenge. If we can get through being apart, nothing can split us."

Roxas still didn't want to admit that Axel was right, instead wanting to throw a tantrum and angrily spat that this could never work; long distance relationships were just made for disaster. He had believed he made his peace weeks ago over the summer but it seemed that he wasn't truly prepared for this. His heart was thumping away and more tears spilled. Axel was quick to wipe them away, kiss them away, kiss him everywhere. But it didn't help, it just hurt more.

Still, this wasn't going to help. The tears wouldn't stop anything from moving forward, so it was time to really come to terms with what was going on and that was that. So with a deep breath, Roxas wiped his eyes and took a moment before he turned to wrap his arms tightly around Axel's waist and bury his face in that hard chest. "I'll be fine. I just had to be upset one last time." He knew he'd be upset many more times.

"Roxas, I'll be a phone call away," Axel promised and folded the smaller boy into his hold. "I'll be up here at every possible moment. Any weekend I can get free I'll be here."

"It'll be lonely here all alone," Roxas admitted, one of his fears finally surfacing. The house truly wasn't meant for only one person. How Axel and Demyx managed this huge place on their own was still a mystery to Roxas, but the idea of having a large amount of space to himself gave him a sinking feeling.

Axel's chuckle made Roxas bristle on the inside and the redhead was quick to explain. "I have a surprise for you," he spoke.

Roxas looked up questioningly. Axel just smiled. "You won't know till later, though. And we should get going. Our stuff should be packed up, so it's time to go."

As much as he didn't want to go, he was just as curious to see where Axel, Demyx and Zexion were moving to. He had reluctantly agreed to tag along when they moved the rest of their belongings into their new place in Radiant Garden where all three would be attending Radiant University. Instead of dorms, they were renting a place a few blocks from the university.

Axel stood, bringing Roxas along with him. He wasn't happy or thrilled. He was anxious and sad. But Axel was still there beside him, arm wrapped around his waist as usual. And for the moment, everything seemed normal.

* * *

How long ago had the trees given way to apartment buildings and cafés? The grassy fields were now cement sidewalks and the long stretch of highway had transformed into clogged streets of stoplights and crosswalks. Radiant Garden was definitely not Twilight Town.

The drive to the city was two hours of country road which was very pleasant and peaceful, reminiscent of Hollywood family road trips. But the city is like a brick wall and before you know it, you've slammed straight into it with only a barely noticeable "Welcome to…" sign as your warning. Bada-bing, you are in the city.

It wasn't so bad, Roxas thought, but he knew he would never be able to live in the city. He liked his small town and anyone who wanted to live amongst skyscrapers and concentrated air pollution was a nutcase. He was also feeling bitter towards this particular city that was snatching his boyfriend away so his thoughts were most definitely bias.

The downside to the long trip had been the ample amount of time he was left to sink into his own mind, drown everything else out and think. He was in the back of Demyx's Audi next to Axel, their hands clasped. Axel was chatting it up with Demyx who was driving; Zexion was sitting in the passenger seat listening with interest. Roxas was busy with watching the passing trees. He had tried to avoid plunging into his depressing thoughts and instead did his best to focus on Axel's hand and how warm and comforting it was. But when he thought of that hand, he just thought of Axel. He then thought of Axel and being sad which led his thoughts to Axel going away. Axel leaving him, rushing off to rehab back in January.

And how horrible had that been! He'd become a listless puppet to daily life, only doing what he needed to do. It was sickening how much he seemed to cling to Axel now that he thought about it, but Axel was someone he felt deeply bonded with. Everyone had their own person and Axel was his. Without him, he'd lose that special someone he was connected with. Everyone was leaving and he would be alone. And Roxas didn't want to be alone.

"It's just a few block away," Axel said next to his ear and Roxas jumped violently, his heart racing. He found that he had to let go of Axel's hand when he realized how sweaty his had become (was he that nervous?).

Demyx stopped at a streetlight and spoke, "It's right up there. I can see dad's car." Arion and Mariana had made the trip before the boys had left. Their car had been packed tightly with most of Zexion's possessions as well as some of Demyx and Axel's. There were a few boxes in Demyx's trunk but most of their items had been brought here days earlier.

When the light finally turned, they moved forward, luckily finding the spot behind Arion's black Lexus. "Looks like your parents already went to work," Zexion commented as he unbuckled his seat belt. Demyx and Axel were parked on the street side and opened their doors cautiously to passing cars.

"Like mom would sit in the car and wait," Demyx laughed.

When Roxas' feet were set on the sidewalk, he just stood by the car and took a look at where they were. It seemed to be that most of the aligning city blocks were made up of townhouses. The white exterior of the townhouse they stood before had a rustic look and feel and the large picture windows at the front looked like they would ensure plenty of sunlight any time of the day. The building was narrow and tall with two separate doors. Must be nice inside, Roxas mused reasonably. As though Arion and Mariana would allow their boys to live in a common college apartment. As he observed the planted trees that were evenly distanced along the sidewalk, he wondered how far away from the university they were. Luckily Roxas didn't have to suffer through a tour of the entire campus. The plan had been to spend a bit of time at the new apartment before returning back home.

The four boys approached the door which was flung open, a pretty and slender blonde smiling away in the doorway. "I have to say, boys," she spoke and moved aside for them to enter, "if I ever have a fight with your father, I'm moving in with you."

Upon entering what will become Axel's new home, Roxas understood immediately that the rent was going to come from Arion's pocket. What he walked into was what he guessed to be the living room. The basic furniture was set up: a black leather L-shaped couch that looked plush and easy to sink into. An elegantly designed glass coffee table was completely bare of any personal belongings. Already a large flat screen was mounted on the wall though Roxas didn't believe it was hooked up at the moment. They removed their shoes at the small tiled rectangle before the door and stepped onto springy pristine beige carpeting. Taking in just this part of the apartment, Roxas was sure an entire family could live comfortably here. At the far end of the room, a shiny wooden staircase ascended at a curved angle.

Roxas' eyes were busy scanning the area and he didn't notice that Mariana stepped next to him. "Kitchen is on the second floor," she said. For the second time that day, Roxas jumped. She laughed that mirthful laugh of hers and hugged the boy lightly. "I'll give you the grand tour since it seems the others are eager beavers." Indeed, it did seem that the others had rushed off to do what needed to be done. He felt a bit high and dry right then. Shouldn't Axel be the giving him the tour?

"Where's Arion?" Roxas asked as he was led up the curving staircase and to a large kitchen and dining area that didn't seem to belong in such a narrow place.

"He was upstairs," the woman answered. "And now here, we have the wonderful kitchen. Complete with black glass countertops, missing counter appliances but a working refrigerator, oven, and even a sink!" Mariana was truly a beautiful woman and her showgirl poses looked like they were from experience. "I am worried, however," she said as she turned to the stove. "I suggested that the stove be taken away. But Demykins insisted that if we do that, there would be an awkward oven shaped hole in the kitchen." She shook her head. "But those boys are a hazard when it comes to cooking.

Roxas understood her concerns all too well. He didn't mind that he was the cook at their home. He truly loved cooking and did his best with everything he made. Being in the kitchen always made him think of his mother and the times they would cook when he was younger. But Axel and Demyx were truly lost causes. He wouldn't so much as allow Axel to chop veggies.

"I just pray they won't try and actually _cook_ anything. Do you know if Zexion can cook?"

Roxas had seen Zexion in the kitchen a few times. Basic cooking skills seemed to be his specialty but if it came down to him having to prepare dinner every night, Roxas seriously doubted he'd be able to manage. "A bit," he concluded. He took a step to the large open space opposite of the kitchen setup. The floors were some wood, deep in color and glossy.

Off to one side was a railing and a view of the downstairs living room they had just been in. To the other side was a pair of French style doors that opened up to a small patio. Roxas approached the doors and peered out, finding a stone tiled patio that was mostly empty except for a small professionally built fire pit that looked like it would serve as a nice place to sit and chat after dinner. The stone tiles gave way to a patch of green grass that was modest but not the expansive maze of flowerbeds in their own backyard.

"That fire pit is just a calling card for Axel," Mariana sighed from the kitchen. "I swear, he'll have the backyard torched by day three."

"You're talking about me," came Axel's voice from the staircase. He stepped onto the landing, holding one of the boxes that had some of the clothes he packed. He shifted the box under one arm. "That's not very nice. Mothers don't talk about their children behind their backs," he cried melodramatically.

One amethyst eye leveled the redhead with a look. "I am only vocalizing your faults, sweetie. You just have so many and I was only expressing my concerns," she joked.

Axel pouted. "I'm not the only one with faults, mother."

"Are you saying I'm not absolutely perfect?" Her voice turned utterly sweet and she batted her eyelashes.

"Well…"

In an instant Mariana went from sweet to playfully sour. "Axel Shaozi, you tell me right that now I am the most beautiful, amazing, kind, loving and _perfect_ mother. Now." Roxas watched the spectacle with a light grin. In that moment, surrounded by the harmless teasing and playful antics, everything felt like it was okay.

"Help me out, Rox!" Axel hissed.

Roxas cracked a real smile and shrugged. "You could just admit the truth. Don't feel like you've lost."

Mariana demanded, "Listen to your wife! He knows how to charm a little old lady like me."

Axel gave a laugh. "I must have not been invited. Roxie, when did we get married? Since I don't remember, we'll just have to have another wedding." And with that, he moved to a second flight of stairs next to the stairs he had stepped off of.

Mariana moved to the stairs. "You're a brat; you never told me I'm perfect!"

"You're beautiful mom, you already know that."

The woman huffed cutely. "Let's go after him Roxas. There's more to see." And she ascended up the stairs after her adopted son. Roxas followed; this staircase was straight up instead of curved. It was covered with that same beige carpeting and when he got to the top, he stood at the beginning of a short hallway. There were three doorways, all of the left side of the hallway. Axel had walked through the first doorway. The other doors were already open and Mariana slipped into the third one down. At the end of the hallway, there was yet another staircase leading up.

Roxas walked through the door that Axel had gone through, finding a medium sized room. It was unique in that a large portion of one corner of the room was elevated a few feet with small steps leading up to this area. A short railing (most likely for decoration) surrounded the section.

"My bed goes up there," Axel said after placing the box down next to many others in the center of the room. It was carpeted in here as well. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, Roxas walked to Axel and fell into his chest, hugging him tight. Standing there in what was to be Axel's bedroom was sad. They'd gone a few months shy of a year sharing a room, a bed, together. Roxas realized then that he would miss having a warm body next to his and arms that wrapped around him like out of control ivy. He wouldn't have the struggle of waking Axel up each morning. "I won't have to pull your ass out of bed. Or yell at you for leaving your clothes on the floor. Or harass you to make the bed."

Axel's grip tightened in response. Roxas knew Axel was sad too, but he didn't want to believe the redhead was sadder than him.

The fourth floor of the apartment gave way to a study and den. It seemed to also double as a library as there were built in bookshelves lining one of the walls. Here the wooden floors gave an office feel and already there were desks set and waiting for use and to be covered with knick-knacks. A single window door on one side of the room opened to a small balcony that overlooked the street below. "The terror about this place is moving the big furniture through it. Not sure how it'll happen. I think mom's getting movers. The stuff downstairs was easy enough." Axel explained this as they climbed up the stairs, the couple reluctantly letting each other go when Demyx called to them to hurry upstairs.

"You can't tell me there's another story, can you?" Roxas asked when he found yet another staircase to the back of the room.

"Technically," Demyx said and moved to the stairs. Roxas followed with Axel and Zexion behind him. The stairs led up a small little alcove and at the top was an oak door. Demyx led the group through the door.

He didn't know what he was expecting, but Roxas wasn't really expecting the feel of a bedding of small rocks beneath his feet. The air was warm against his cheeks and the sun was hidden partially behind puffy white clouds. Looking out, the blue sky was obscured by countless buildings. Standing on the roof of that tall building and seeing the city spread out before him was more exhilarating than he believed something like this could be. He joined Axel who was walking towards the side and just looked out at the city ahead. Buildings rose into the sky at varying heights, and tiny visible sections of streets proved that Radiant Garden was indeed a bustling city.

"There's school, over there," Axel said, pointing to a grouping of tall buildings. There were four large buildings jutting up and one skinny tower, taller than the rest, amongst them. "The four buildings are the dorms and the skinny one is the central tower where the fountain is. Believe me, the campus is huge."

"It's a big change, huh boys?"

Arion and Mariana stepped up to the roof. Arion's aqua eyes were filled with a subtle cheer and he held his wife's hand firmly in his own. "Not like the country, is it?"

"We can handle it," Demyx spoke, still looking out at the city.

Arion spoke, "Change is good. It's an obstacle that pushes you forward."

Roxas' mouth was dry and Arion's words stuck in his head. _Change is good_, he thought.

How good?

* * *

The trip home seemed to be just as depressing. There was far less talk and as they passed grassy fields and farmland, the sun was descending down the horizon.

By the time Demyx was pulling into their driveway back at Twilight Town, dusk had taken over and the first stars of the night were becoming visible.

"That place is nice, but nothing beats home," Demyx sighed as he climbed out of the car. He had stopped before the short stone path that led to the front door and smiled to Axel before taking Zexion's hand in his own. "We're gonna go for a really short walk, okay?" Zexion's face had a knowing shadow veiled over it and the two set off toward the road.

Roxas was a bit curious about everyone's questionable behavior. Demyx and Zexion never went off for walks by themselves. And the odd quiet in the car had been questionable as well. So when he turned to ask Axel what was going on to find the man at the front door, testing the door handle to find it unlocked, he knew something was up. They locked the door before they left.

"Hey, is something up?" Roxas asked. Axel just flashed him a smile and swept his arm out, falling into a bow at the waist.

"Please, master, step right inside."

"You aren't a butler, Axel. You've got nothing on Sebastian."

Axel straightened and frowned at his little blond who walked into their house. "I'm part demon," he muttered. But Roxas became deaf at that moment with the sight that greeted him.

There was his best friend, standing beside the kitchen island with clenched fists saying, "And I told you that bringing so much stuff was pointless! We still need some things at home; we're not coming here right away!"

"Shut it, wuss." And sitting on one of the stools was none other than his best friend's boyfriend. "If we get as much now, that means less work later."

Hayner wasn't pleased, most likely from being referred to as a "wuss" and was about to verbally attack when Seifer said, "Hey, Roxas." And instantly, Hayner's figurative claws retracted and his lips curved when his chocolate eyes found his dumbfounded friend in the doorway.

"Hey, man. ' was wondering when you'd get back."

Roxas looked from Hayner to Seifer to Axel. "What's going on?"

Axel pushed at Roxas' back. "Don't be shy now. Go and play with your new roommates."

"What?" What in the world was Axel talking about?

"Guess we'll be keeping you company when everyone else is gone," Hayner informed his friend.

Roxas just stared at him for a moment before the words started clicking. But there was a no way, they were joking! How in the world did this all come to be? "You're saying…?"

"For fucks sake, we're moving in with you," Seifer announced brashly. He ignored Hayner's glare and sat back against the counter behind him.

And just like that, with those crudely chosen words, Roxas suddenly felt a warm happiness seep through his system. He didn't hold back the excited grin and he couldn't help but think that his fear of being all alone was ridiculous. Of course his friends would never leave him to live in this huge house all by himself. He was relieved, he was joyful. "When was this decided?" he asked. Axel moved to stand opposite Seifer at the island and Roxas followed.

"I asked them about a month ago," the redhead said. "Like I'd let you stay here by yourself, Rox. I could never. Someone needs to take care of you." Roxas scoffed but let it go.

"Your parents said it was okay?" Roxas asked, looking at Hayner who had taken the stool next to Seifer.

"You know mom," Hayner grinned. "She was all worried about her only child moving out on his own. But when I told her that if I didn't go you'd be living all by yourself, she practically melted and packed my bags for me." Hayner was shaking his head. His mother did always fret around him. She was protective of her son and that motherly love had always extended to his friends as well.

"And my parents really couldn't give a shit," Seifer spoke indifferently with a shrug.

Roxas leaned forward against the countertop, still smiling away. He heard the front door open and caught a brief glance of Demyx and Zexion walking in. "Okay, but what about your mom?" he asked as he gazed up at his boyfriend. "I know the rules."

"Ah," Axel chuckled. "Remember that time a few weeks ago I said Luxord and Xigbar needed to be bailed out of jail?"

"Worst excuse ever, Ax," Demyx laughed from the couch in the living area. The television had been turned on but the couple was still listening.

Axel pursed his lips. "Give me a break; it was creative enough for being short-handed of good excuses! Anyways, I took a little trip up for dinner with this lovely couple here." His joking words indicated he believed Hayner and Seifer to be anything but a lovely couple. "The rest is history. You know mom."

Seifer's arm went around his middle. "Not even kidding, I heard a rib crack from that hug. That woman is tiny, where does the power come from?"

Demyx laughed, "Personal gym in the basement."

Roxas stared Hayner down. "What'd she ask you?" Mariana was infamous for being blunt and a bit nosy (in a good mannered sense) about everyone's relationships.

Hayner pursed his lips. "She asked how good the sex was."

All the occupants laughed to their own degree. "And you answered how?" Roxas asked.

Seifer smirked. "Fucking mind blowing."

* * *

**Ah, I'm still getting into the grove of things. Comments are welcome and appreciated. I'm hoping things won't be too slow at the beginning. I just don't wanna rush anything ^^'**


	3. Insecure

**Chapters will probably be kept shorter than they were in Truth. It's easier for me *busy college kid***

**And if you haven't already, please pay a visit to my story Before the Run. It focuses on Riku's struggles before coming to Twilight Town. I think it helps people understand him a bit more ^^**

**And thank you to everyone who reviewed! Much appreciated, keep them coming!**

**Warnings: None for this chapter**

**Please enjoy and happy reading!**

* * *

_Tell my brother please not to look for me. I ain't the man that I used to be._

_Cause if my savior comes could you let him know. I've gone away forward to save my soul._

-Peter Bradley Adams "The Longer I Run"

* * *

Hayner hadn't been sure what it would be like to suddenly move out of his parent's house and be living with his two best friends. Quickly he found that enjoying Roxas' cooking would have been enough to seal the deal had he been unsure if he wanted to move. Getting to sleep next to Seifer was nice as well, though he wouldn't admit it. Still, it was a struggle to get used to. They'd spent some nights sharing the same bed over the past year but never had they had a bed to share almost every night. It was, in a way, funny to find that he liked to hog the blankets and Seifer was still clingy, contrary to his personality.

The atmosphere in the house was laidback and good spirited. They all got along as best friends, joking plenty and feeling relaxed. Hayner was glad to find Roxas quite apt to taking care of the house since he wasn't as practiced with it. His mom had always taken care of much of the housework and though he was used to the occasional chore here and there, he wasn't used to washing the dishes every single day.

Roxas, though very dispirited the first week or two after Axel had officially moved out, stepped up and went into a frenzy with the cooking and cleaning and it took Hayner a bit to calm his best friend, realizing that Roxas was using the house work as a distraction. He was pleased to see Roxas ease up after a bit and once school started, he calmed down to a normal degree and started focusing intently on his work.

Yes, Hayner was glad that he and Seifer moved in with Roxas. Seifer seemed to be so much more relaxed here, most likely due to him not having to deal with the stress of his parents. Free to do as they pleased, Seifer was strangely cheery though still the sharp-tongued rival he loved. They bickered plenty yet they got along better. He was finding things out about Seifer he hadn't really known before, like his talent for cooking. It was close to rivaling Roxas' cooking and Hayner was doubly pleased that he'd have two people to cook him amazing food.

He was enjoying the breakfast Seifer had made him at the island counter. Hayner had just gotten home from his shift of work; he had taken Olette up on her request that he join her for the nurses' assistant training class where they both were certified. They worked together at the retirement home across town and though the job wasn't easy in the least, it paid well and there was a deep satisfaction Hayner got knowing that he was helping people. Olette had talked him into becoming a nurses' assistant after he, frustrated and upset, expressed the need to figure out what career path he wanted to follow. The girl made the suggestion that he try nursing with her and that, if nothing else, he could benefit with a job until he figured out what he wanted to do.

Working the night shift was easier with school plus it paid just a tiny bit more. Though tiring, Hayner was satisfied though a bit disappointed that his nights with his boyfriend were on a schedule. Seifer seemed indifferent but Hayner worried in the back of his mind that the older blond wasn't happy with the arrangement. They did get to sleep together plenty of nights and they got creative with timing and placing sex, but he still wondered what Seifer really thought.

Hayner stabbed the last piece of his French toast and yawned, running the piece of bread through the pooled syrup on his plate. He was tired yet satisfied with everything. Seifer had gone back upstairs to their room –Demyx's old room- and he was finally ready to go up and sleep.

"Nyaa! Hayner!"

It was seven thirty in the morning and Hayner was beat from his eight hour overnight shift, but Roxas' scream from upstairs woke him right up and he jumped from the stool. He raced to the stairs, climbing them two at a time wondering what the hell caused Roxas to yell like that. Slightly panicked that something was wrong or his friend was hurt, he dashed up the stairs.

"Fucking Jesus Rox, are you serious?!"

That was Seifer and a part of Hayner was overjoyed to know that his boyfriend was concerned too. Seemed that Seifer made it before he could. Hayner made it to the bathroom, standing in the doorway. His muscles protested the sudden rush and he felt about ready to collapse. "What's going on?" he panted.

Before him was Roxas pushed up against the bathroom wall with nothing but a hand towel covering his naked lower half. Seifer must have been getting dressed, but not having gotten very far as he was still in his boxers and peering into the shower. Seifer kneeled down, grabbing something before standing back up. "Your little chicken-wuss best friend decided to make me panic then flash me. Over a spider in the shower."

Roxas, still not calming down spoke hysterically, "I expected Hayner to come in, not you!"

Seifer scoffed. "So it's okay if he sees your dick?"

"Fuck off, Seifer, it scared me!"

"Watch it kid, it's still in my hand. I think it's crawling around, it must want to be with you." Seifer moved toward Roxas who freaked, moving spastically to put distance between the spider in Seifer's hand and himself.

Hayner frowned. "Seifer, just get rid of it. Don't use Roxas' phobia to your advantage." Seifer stuck his tongue out at Hayner, moving past him and down the walkway. Roxas finally calmed, his fear now gone from the room. He flashed Hayner a weak apologetic smile. "I figured he'd just kill it. He isn't putting it in my bed or anything, is he?"

Hayner smiled, shaking his head. "He's probably putting it outside. He's surprisingly soft when it comes to non-human living things. You're safe."

Roxas seemed to relax more and moved to the shower, arranging the small towel to cover him enough. "Dude, I'm so glad you guys are here. Axel wouldn't even hear my scream in his sleep and Demyx is as afraid of spiders as I am. I think Zexion would be too polite to rush in here knowing there's a chance I'm undressed."

* * *

It was Friday, and Sora loved Fridays. He'd worked his schedule so he'd have every Friday offrom school. Having a day during the week that he could sleep in was wonderful. Stretching his legs and moaning with satisfaction as he arched his back, feeling that stretch as well, his arm fell across the bed, finding the spot beside him cold and empty. He blindly reached out for his phone on the bedside table, disconnecting the charger and opening a bleary eye to find the time reading that it was almost twelve in the afternoon. Well damn, Riku had left for work almost four hours ago.

He made a show of being productive on his Fridays off. After getting up, showering and getting dressed, Sora took to pulling out the cleaning supplies and giving the apartment a proper cleaning. He swept through the kitchen, vacuumed the living room and dusted the coffee table and TV stand. He took a break from cleaning around one and made himself a sandwich for lunch, lounging on the couch and texting Roxas who was at work at _Hotto Keiki. _

Lately Sora was feeling more and more like a concerned older brother. Roxas, he thought, had such talent for conveying facades. Everyone could go on believing the front he chose to show, but Sora, a true twin, could sense that Roxas' rhythm was off. The internal spark that made his brother truly happy was gone and no one saw it but him. He chose not to comment on it, thinking that Roxas' separation from Axel was the problem and that in time it would get better. It'd only been two months since Axel moved away and Sora was sure Roxas just needed the time to adjust. He'd gone from living with his boyfriend for nearly a year to having to reduce seeing him to the occasional weekend. Sora understood the loss of losing a connection with a best friend; he'd suffered when he moved from Destiny Islands and had to leave Riku.

Sora stood from the couch, and ventured to the door, leaving the apartment to head downstairs to check the mail.

Yes, his heart went out to Roxas. He knew his brother though, and Roxas was a bit more solitary when brooding so he didn't rush along to fawn over his younger twin every day. Instead he opted to text him daily to ensure he was fine and insisted on them getting together often during the week. He worried, though, that he may not always be around in case Roxas really needed him. He knew he had to trust who was around for Roxas, like Hayner, but he still grew nervous with the thought. No one could understand his brother like he could.

Reaching the bottom steps, Sora moved through the apartment complex's lobby and towards the front door where rows of locked up mailboxes waited. He pulled the key from his pocket and opened box 17, gathering the items inside. He searched through the small pile while moving up the stairs. The top two letters were junk mail and the magazine on the bottom was unmistakably the sports magazine that Riku was subscribed to. But there were two other envelopes and when Sora saw the decorated insignia in the top corner on both, a jolt rushed through his stomach, forcing his heart to jump into his throat. He swallowed hard. There was a letter for both him and Riku.

Sora reentered his apartment and set the mail on the kitchen counter. He didn't open the envelope addressed to him. He returned to cleaning, now feeling nervous and needing a distraction. He took his time in the bathroom, finding that he spent more time and put more attention into this cleaning than he normally would. He kept his mind focused on the task at hand, cleaning the sink counter multiple times and going so far as to getting on his hands and knees to clean the floor. After scrubbing the bathtub, Sora stood and stretched; his back hurt from leaning over for so long.

Deciding to be finished, Sora moved to the living room where he turned the TV on. He enjoyed watching the cooking channel in the evening; his mother would always be watching the channel every evening and he had grown up sitting with her and Roxas watching it. He was reminded that he'd probably have to figure out something to make for dinner. It was approaching four in the evening and Riku was due to be home soon. As he was about to get up and search through the kitchen, his cell phone rang from his pocket.

He pulled it out and answered, "Hey, I was just about to find us some dinner."

"_No worries," _came Riku's voice. The sounds of some of the other guys from the computer servicing shop where Riku worked could be heard. _"Things came up and I've gotta stay late. I figured I'd call and let you know. I'll be home late, so I'll grab something to eat." _

"Oh," Sora said, feeling disappointed. "Alright. How late?" He was actually really looking forward to having Riku come home and to spend the evening together. They hadn't had an evening together in a few days since Sora had worked the late shift at The Annex the past nights and didn't get home till very early in the morning. He hadn't seen Riku all day to top it off.

"_I'm not sure. Don't stay up for me if I'm too late, okay?" _

Sora held in a sigh and bit his lip. "I won't." He felt rather down now. "Don't work too hard. You sure you don't want me to make something you can have when you get home?"

The sound of Riku's chuckle only served to make him miss his boyfriend more. _"I'll be fine, Sora. I've got to get back to work, I'll see you later."_

Sora swallowed. "Mmkay," and he hung up before anymore could be said. He realized then, as he stared down at his phone, that he hadn't even thought to mention the letters that came in the mail. Just thinking about them weighed heavily on his mind and made him think of one person in particular. He realized then that he should probably give his brother a call.

Luckily Roxas picked up quickly enough. The café closed at four and Sora knew he was lucky to catch Roxas in the middle of cleanup. "Hey, Rox, you wanna come over for dinner? Riku won't be home and I don't wanna be here alone." He made his voice go a bit whiny at the end, knowing Roxas wouldn't resist a brother in need.

"_Sure, Sor, just give me half an hour to finish here." _

Feeling satisfied, Sora finished the conversation and headed for the kitchen. He decided on making a stir-fry, knowing the vegetables in the fridge needed to be used. He set away to cooking, allowing his mind to remain focused on the task of chopping veggies. The TV in the background served as a comfort; it was much better than the complete silence of the apartment. It was only when he was stirring the vegetables and hearing the door open that he realized the mail was still sitting on the kitchen counter. In a panic, Sora picked the stack up and did his best to walk quickly yet calmly to his room, smiling at Roxas as he passed. He dropped the pile on his and Riku's bed and shut the door behind him as he came back out.

"How was work?" he asked when he came back into the kitchen. Roxas was washing his hands at the sink.

"Oh, the usual hell spot what with Larxene working. She threatened me twice and made a customer cry. Guess she and that girl had a bad history."

Sora returned to the pan on the stove, stirring the mix of veggies and adding in the special sauce he'd created. "Why in the world is she allowed to work in a customer service job?"

Roxas shrugged as he dried his hands on the dish towel before leaning back against the countertop. "She's a wicked baker. The boss likes that. She just can't handle people well."

Sora shook his head. "Then why not keep her chained to the oven?"

Roxas didn't answer, instead making himself useful and grabbing a pot to boil water for the minute rice. "Why is Riku gone?" he asked. He noticed how Sora seemed oddly focused, much unlike his usual out-there behavior of chatting excitably and throwing his hands into his speech. His actions, to Roxas, felt reserved.

"He said he had to stay late at work. I don't see why, he usually brings any computers he's working on home with him."

Roxas quirked his lips saying, "Maybe it's something he can't bring home. You seem on edge about it, though. Or is it something else?" He turned his blue eyes to his brother, watching him carefully. Sora still seemed focused on his task, stirring the mix unnecessarily. The veggies, Roxas knew, needed time to simmer and absorb the flavors from the sauce but Sora wasn't allowing them to. Something was up.

The brunet finally did stop stirring the mix and set the wooden spoon aside. He moved to the fridge and pulled two bottles of water; Riku preferred Sora to drink the healthy alternative than sugary soda. "It's nothing, I just miss Riku." When the silence came, Sora thought his words over and figured they must seem selfish to his twin who probably missed Axel a hell of a lot more than he could miss Riku. He felt bad for saying it all of a sudden. "Sorry, it must seem ridiculous for me to say I miss Riku when I see him almost every day." He chanced a look to his brother, finding Roxas to be measuring out the rice needed.

"It's not silly," Roxas finally said. "I missed Axel whenever our weekly schedules didn't mesh. I understand." He hadn't seen Axel in two weeks.

Sora stirred the mix one last time, deemed it done and shut the stovetop off. He grabbed bowls from the cabinet above the counter. "Are you doing alright without seeing him?" he asked. "We don't usually talk about it and I want to make sure you're dealing."

Fluffing the cooked rice with a fork, Roxas grabbed one of the bowls from Sora, filling it before doing the same with the other. "I'm fine. I've got plenty of work to keep me distracted."

"But Rox-"

"I'm dealing, alright? I'm not some child who is completely dependent on him." He spoke with this a firm tone of finality and Sora knew the topic was a no-go. This only amped up his concern and though he knew he wouldn't bring it up again, he'd keep on watching his brother. Roxas was as emotional as he was, though the blond didn't show it. Sora knew he could sink into small episodes of depression and he wasn't willing to let his brother get to a low point.

They didn't talk much as they sat on the couch and ate, watching reruns of old cooking shows. Sora was content enough to have his twin's presence and it kept him from going over all the stressors he had. He found that he was able to actually focus on the shows without any other troubling thoughts invading his mind. As time passed and show after show ran, Roxas broke their silence.

"I miss watching these with mom."

Sora smiled at the memory of their blonde, blue-eyed mother who watched cooking shows with an intensity that showcased her concentration on truly learning the culinary art.

About an hour later, Roxas had excused himself for the night after receiving a text from Hayner. "He and Seifer are fighting about something and he claims he needs backup," Roxas explained with a roll of the eyes and a chuckle falling from his lips. "They're ridiculous."

Sora smiled. "I don't understand how they work." He stood with Roxas, making sure to give his brother a lasting hug. "I'll text you tomorrow. You're off, right? Maybe we can go out."

Roxas nodded, smiling himself. "Sounds good."

After he left, Sora felt quite alone in the apartment. He couldn't quite understand what was keeping Riku so late at work. He was supposed to get off at four and it was already eight thirty. There was no way they'd keep him at work this late over his shift. He found himself surfing through television channels, stopping at a show or another. Twenty minutes passed before the door opened. Sora perked up, happy to see Riku walking through the door with his laptop bag slung over his shoulder. "You're later than I thought you'd be," he said.

Riku made a non-committal noise and moved to the couch, leaning over to kiss the top of Sora's head. "Just a bit of an emergency that needed to be handled tonight. Some hotshot business guy who needed an immediate fix." Riku made to move but was stopped when Sora reached up, grabbing onto his shirt and pulling him back down. Riku didn't resist, allowing himself to be pulled down to the brunet's level. He didn't resist at all when Sora leaned up, kissing him with more force than he expected. A spark of guilt shot through him, understanding through the kiss that Sora must have missed him. He admitted that he missed the younger boy as well since they hadn't spent too much time together this past week. The guilt doubled when he thought of the fact that he had technically lied to Sora about where he had been. He'd forced himself to break the kiss upon feeling the soft tongue touching his lips. "I want to shower before bed." He straightened up and headed down the hallway.

Sora sat back on the couch, feeling his emotions clogging in his throat. He couldn't ignore the fact that Riku smelled off. He'd come to recognize Riku's scent, admittedly loved it and would cuddle with his pillow at times. But something was off and he took the time to think it over. He mulled and mulled, trying hard to pinpoint why the scent was slightly familiar. He went through half a TV show and the midpoint commercials, trying to figure it out. When it clicked, his heart stopped.

The scent faintly reminded him of his mother.

It was woman's perfume.

He tried to be reasonable, thinking that the scent might have lingered from a customer or from a co-worker. It was hard, though, for him to wrap his head around the ideas. Riku didn't have any female co-workers and it would be ridiculous for it to have come from a customer; the most contact they came in was a hand shake. Sora battled down the raging emotions when thinking of any other possibilities. Ridiculous soap operas and sitcoms ran through his head. The situation of the man staying late at work, coming home smelling like a woman…it always pointed to that one dramatic explanation that would always cause the audience to hang onto the edge of their seats, full of suspense.

He didn't want to believe it and he refused to at the moment. He was just being ridiculous, someone had just worn too much perfume and it caught onto Riku's clothes. He was over thinking everything, he'd been missing Riku too much all day.

After turning the TV off, Sora stood from the couch and padded down to their bedroom. Riku had already finished his shower and was getting dressed, pulling on a t-shirt. Sora, overcome with need, hugged Riku from behind. He rested his cheek against Riku's back, his arms holding tightly around Riku's waist. "I missed you," he admitted. Hands covered his own, warm from the shower, and squeezed tightly.

"I've missed you all week. Our schedules haven't been nice to us, huh?" Riku turned in Sora's grasp and he smiled that reserved smile and Sora felt his face heat up. His heart thumped, rocking against his rib cage and Sora stretched up, initiating another kiss. His mind raced, running through so many thoughts at once: his new troubles with Riku, the envelopes that sat upon their bed, the loneliness that was plaguing him and the idea that Roxas was feeling the same way yet probably hurting so much more. His stomach fluttered when Riku moved to kiss his neck and moved his hands down to his thighs where he lifted Sora who wrapped his legs around Riku's waist. At the same time, the ache in his chest cried for his brother who he knew was secretly hurting for his boyfriend and Sora felt guilt for feeling lonely when Riku was right here with him.

"I love you," he gasped out, feeling overcome with his love, affection, guilt and hurt. He worried for his brother, he was suddenly afraid Riku could be hiding some secret from him and for a moment he thought of that envelope that would decide his and Riku's futures. Held in Riku's arms, wrapped around him so tightly, he hugged Riku around the neck and buried his face in his shoulder. Riku moved and sat on the edge of the bed, holding Sora in his lap and letting the boy hug him tightly.

"I love you too, Sora." He could sense something was off. He knew he hadn't been able to spend as much time with Sora lately, what with both of them busy with school and work, but he worried that the problem extended beyond that. "What's wrong?" He felt Sora shake his head against his shoulder, chocolate spikes brushing against his cheek. It wouldn't be worth pushing the issue too hard and Riku decided that for tonight, he'd allow Sora to do whatever he needed to help himself and that he'd allow the boy to talk to him when he needed.

* * *

**Uh, did I make this too angsty too soon?**


	4. This Nightmare

**Warnings: None for this chapter**

**Thank you all for the reviews! **

**Please enjoy and happy reading!**

* * *

"Is Seifer out again?"

Roxas looked over to observe his friend who sat beside him on the couch. Hayner was staring down at the chicken Cesar salad Roxas had prepared for him. It was Hayner's weekend off and Roxas expected Seifer to be home yet he had gone out before Roxas had gotten home from work.

"Yup. He hasn't answered any of my texts."

Roxas was curious as Hayner said that. "You sound awfully calm about it." True enough, Hayner spoke with an even tone. He continued to stare at the television as he pierced a piece of grilled chicken with his fork. Roxas had expected a narrowed glare or a tensing of his best friend's jaw. He saw neither of these and in his opinion, Hayner seemed to look completely indifferent. "What's up?"

Hayner's look was a bit questioning. "Why does something need to be up?"

Roxas shrugged his shoulders. "I just imagined you'd be, I don't know, upset or mad or something."

Hayner stared down at the salad in his bowl as though contemplating whether he wanted to finish it or not. Roxas waited, seeing unreadable emotions cross through Hayner's eyes. "I'm not freaking out for the reason you just claimed. I don't want to be like some overdramatic girlfriend every time he doesn't answer me. He's got other friends he hangs out with. It's not like he'd suddenly abandon his gang because I'm here." It was so easy to say, yet Hayner just couldn't settle with the thought that Seifer often took the train to the shore to be with the other members of the gang he was a part of. It seemed that more and more often he was gone from the house. Hayner thought he should feel bad yet he'd come to realize that Seifer probably just needed someone to be around since Hayner was either at school for hours during the day or working all night long.

"Well, that's mature of you," Roxas said while standing. "You done?" he then asked and gestured to the bowl in Hayner's hand. Hayner glanced down and collected the last bits of his salad on his fork, shoving the greens in his mouth and handing the fork and bowl over to Roxas.

As Roxas was washing the few dishes in the sink he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He was quick to shut the water off and dry his hands, hastily taking out his phone. He smiled, reading the name of the caller. "I thought you forgot about me today. Not even a text." Roxas said this jokingly yet at the same time, he was filled with a strange mix of happy relief which made him realize he'd really been worried that Axel wouldn't contact him.

The sound of Axel letting out a sigh made Roxas' stomach sink. _"Busy deal now, babe. Midterms coming up, it's crunch time and I've got essays due."_

Roxas was making his way up the stairs, taking each step slowly. "You knew the upper level classes were going to be tougher." He really didn't know what else to say. He made it to the second floor landing and walked to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him and moving to the bed. He settled on his stomach on the mattress, grabbing one of the pillows Axel always used and rested on it. The faint smell of his boyfriend lingered. It was comforting.

There was another sigh. _"Look, you know I don't want to miss spending any time with you but I can't leave when I'm swamped with this work."_

Axel was supposed to come visit this weekend.

Roxas felt disappointment take over. He stared straight forward at the deep purple wall before him, willing the ill feeling to leave him. His mind understood and wasn't too concerned that Axel had to devote himself to his schooling. Yet his heart protested, filled him with unwanted loneliness. The small laugh he produced was forced. "Your work is more important. There are other weekends." He didn't want Axel to get a lead on his sudden emotional state and quickly added on, "Hayner has this weekend off anyways, so I'll have time to spend with him. He works so much."

Axel wasn't buying into Roxas' words. Bluntly he stated, _"You're upset. Rox, you know I'd rather be there. I know I skipped out on last weekend too but I never expected to have to deal with so much work, I'm sorry." _The problem was that the last thing Axel ever wanted to do was upset Roxas. Roxas felt the same way towards Axel and the dilemma, Roxas found, was that him denying his disappointment was only making Axel upset. It was like a double edged sword and he was holding the hilt which was undoubtedly poisoned.

It was Roxas' turn to sigh and the smile that whisked across his face wasn't in any way forced. "We're both upset," he conceded. "But this is how it is. Look, I want you to focus on your school work and do well. I'll do the same. We'll try for a weekend when we know with absolute certainty that we're free. Maybe after your tests. I think we can survive that long."

"_Guess you're right."_

"'Course I'm right. So what class is your paper for?"

Roxas heard the sounds of papers rustling, the sound of a chair moving. _"Perception and sensory psych. Babe, we're going out for dinner. I'll text you later, okay? Before bed?"_

A big part of Roxas wanted to raise protest but the idea didn't come close to being carried out. He'd get a call from Axel again tomorrow, so there really wasn't a reason to feel so overly needy and clingy. He hated this feeling, this weakness and he was determined to leave it behind. "That's fine. Have a nice dinner." It enraged him how his voice sounded hurt when there was no reason to actually feel hurt.

Axel seemed to have been hesitating; he took a moment to answer. _"Alright. I love you."_

Roxas found himself nodding his head to those words, believing them with no second thoughts. "Love you too."

* * *

It was spooky, Hayner thought, how mere seconds after Roxas shut the door to his bedroom the front door opened. He was a little surprised, watching Seifer walk in through the door; he hadn't even heard the car roll into the driveway.

Still sitting on the couch, he didn't move or make any comment to signal he took notice to Seifer's arrival. He gave the television unusual devotion which showed on his face. He was surfing the channels, looking for some familiar sitcom or perhaps a movie but finding none to be available. He continued to search, ardently keeping his focus on the TV. He absolutely refused to give Seifer his attention, hoping that for tonight they could go their separate ways. He heard the refrigerator being opened and was glad that Seifer had forgone him and went straight for food.

Hayner knew all too well that if Seifer approached he'd be able to say the perfect words that would tweak at Hayner's suppressed temper. He didn't want to have an argument boil between them, truly, so complete avoidance seemed the best option. He was ticked off that Seifer had up and left for the day doing who knows what. It was Hayner's day at home and he didn't have to go into work and they could have spent time together because that was an obstacle as of late.

He was suddenly disgruntled when Seifer sat beside him on the couch, his fall intentionally clumsy and jostling Hayner to the side. The younger's jaw tensed slightly but he kept his eyes trained on the TV.

"Honey, I'm home."

Hayner was moved by the falsely cute words. He looked to Seifer, finding blue-green eyes staring back, one golden eyebrow raised. Hayner took in the expression and the cold beer in Seifer's hand and returned to the TV.

"The fuck is your problem? Is it 'cause I never answered your texts?"

'_No shit,'_ was sitting on the top of Hayner's tongue, begging to be released but he swallowed, not allowing his temper to flare though it was creeping up and up. "I'm fine. Tired." A blatant lie and someone like Seifer would look right through it.

"Bullshit."

Naturally.

Seifer took a long drink from the beer bottle and leaned back into the couch, draping his arms across the back. "I could have stayed overnight, you know. I came back home, I knew you would be here tonight."

His wolfish grin was so telling and Hayner's stomach boiled angrily. "You came home for sex, not me. I'm not some fuck toy."

Seifer's grin seemed to widen. "Perceptive," he said. To most, his words would sound joking but Hayner heard no such thing.

"Fuck off," he spat and stood from the couch. He threw the TV remote down at the cushion, satisfied that the item bounced from force.

He was about to storm away, exuding his anger at his boyfriend's arrogance but Seifer's voice stopped him, "What are you so pissy about? You're acting like some bitchy housewife."

The words seemed to make Hayner freeze and he even felt a sharp, cold tingle sizzle along his spine. He closed his eyes, biting his lip out of annoyance both with Seifer and himself. Well fuck it, he thought, he had been trying to avoid exactly what Seifer just said. He was hoping to remain silent and _not_ come across as a bratty, jealous lover. "You reek of booze and weed. You only came home to sleep with me. Are you saying I shouldn't be upset?"

Seifer let out a long sigh, like Hayner's attitude was a waste of his time. Hayner's fists clenched tightly and he kept his back to Seifer. "Look, brat, sometimes I need to go out to get some things done. You know a bit of what goes on over on the other side of town. You have a job, and I have a job, and we both do them."

"Fucking hell!" Hayner exploded. "What kind of fucked up job can you really be doing if you're just coming home drunk and stoned? What can you really be fucking getting out of going over there every day?"

He didn't expect anything, really. No words, nothing. But Seifer stood quickly from the couch, dowsing Hayner's belief that he was drunk because no drunken man could move with such balance. He didn't have time to move when the arm grabbed his shirt and suddenly he was flying before falling onto his back on the couch. His eyes had instinctively closed and when he opened them, Seifer was right above him, knees on either side of his hips. That wolfish grin was back.

As though this were an everyday occurrence, Seifer casually set his beer bottle on the coffee table before placing each hand on either side of Hayner's head. He leered down, some odd fire burning in his eyes and Hayner couldn't figure out how to read it. He wasn't going to give in, he though adamantly. There was no way Seifer was going to draw any kind of pleasure from him tonight.

"I work for what I have. Not a job, eh?" In a matter of seconds a wad of hundred dollar bills was hanging in front of Hayner's face. His brown eyes studied the bills, suspicions solidifying and unwanted truths coming forth. He'd had his suspicions but he never thought, hoped, they'd be proven true.

He felt hurt and betrayed in that moment and question after question circled through his head. He had no fight left in him, at least not tonight, and he sat up, pushing Seifer off him. Seifer didn't show any resistance and let Hayner move from the couch. He studied the younger's face, could read the emotions which caused his own to dampen slightly. Still, he had no regrets.

"I'm sleeping in the guest room," Hayner mumbled. He was quick to move away and ascend the stairs. He didn't bother stopping in his room for a change of clothes and moved right to the guest room, letting the door shut quietly behind him.

* * *

_He was in a car, for some reason, and all around were deep hills slanting upwards, indicating he was in a valley of some sort. The ride was short and meaningless and the car stopped. He looked ahead, finding no one sitting in the driver's seat. _

_Stepping out of the car, he found himself in some courtyard. There was a weaving stone walkway, a central circle surrounded by what looked to be temples all around. Gravestones lined the entire area and stretched far beyond. Turning around, he noticed the car was gone and nothing but more gravestones, weather worn and weary, stood behind him. _

_Blinking a bit, he looked down, finding himself in a suit, one very familiar. He had put this suit away immediately after the funeral and refused to look at it again. He was wearing it. And before him were people, all lined up along the curving stone path, hundreds of people all dressed in depressing grays and black, all with their heads bowed straight down at their feet. _

"_You missed it," someone said and to his right, Sora appeared, dressed similarly. His pretty blues eyes were terribly hard, ungiving of the emotion Sora was feeling. "You missed mom and dad's funeral. It's all over. They're gone. You can't see them." _

"_What's going on?" he asked. Sora looked at him, glared even and turned away. _

"_I can't stay with you. I have to go." Sora turned, walking away to the expanse to gravestones. Riku stood amongst the graves and took Sora's hand when he caught up, the two of them walking out into the oblivion. He tried to yell to them, ask them what was happening, but he found he had no voice. _

"_It's so sad," someone else said. He turned and before him were his friends, Olette and Pence and Hayner and they all so sad, so terribly sad and he couldn't understand. _

"_Who are these people? Who are they here for?" he asked. His friends turned to him, startled as though he himself were a ghost. _

"_You haven't heard?" Hayner asked, looking rather taken back. Olette let out a small gasp. _

"_Oh, Roxas, I'm so sorry." _

_They weren't making any sense and he felt scared all of a sudden. He knew his parents were gone, but something felt off and he just couldn't understand. _

_The skies opened, the rain trickled down. Dark clouds spun in the sky. _

"_Axel," Pence said so painfully casually like this was old news the entire town knew of, "he was killed in an accident last week." _

_It was hard to tell what emotion came first or which emotion was which. "What?" he gasped out, completely dumbfounded and suddenly feeling like he'd been comatose for the past months. How could he not know something like this happened? "These people…"_

"_The funeral is done. Everyone is leaving. You missed it." _

_He felt the tears peaking over the hills of his cheeks and spilling over. He found his legs moving though he didn't know where to. Axel was in one of those temples, he knew that, and he had to see him, he just had to. He pushed pass the immobile people who never looked up to see him. He continued on, pushing through the crowd but it never seemed to thin and no matter how hard he fought against the people he just couldn't seem to ever reach any of the temples, never coming close and finding himself moving further and further away from his friends._

It was sudden, how his brain ripped him from the dream and dropped him into reality. Roxas felt his body jerk and he lay in his bed, staring at the darkness surrounding. Right away he felt the wetness on his cheeks and another tear leaked from his eye. He touched the fresh drop, almost shocked to find that he had started crying in his sleep.

His heart was pounding and he felt anxious. He stretched a hand out before him, barely able to make out the trembling limb before his face. His entire body was shaking, in fact and he wiped his eyes which didn't seem to want to stop watering. In a panic his eyes swirled around the room, unsure what to do and feeling that if he moved this familiar reality would crumble around him. Obviously everything had been a dream but it had been a long time since he'd had a dream that invoked tears.

He'd been having dreams lately, never good. They were sparse over the past weeks and seemed to always involve his parents in some way. His heart weighed heavy with grief that he never allowed himself to feel. It was true, he hadn't allowed himself to really grieve over his parents deaths but he felt that there was too much to do to allow himself to stay stuck in the past accident. He hadn't gone to their grave since the one year anniversary at the end of this past summer and even then he hadn't wanted to go. It seemed that if he allowed himself to really cry and reflect over what happened and the meaning of no longer having his parents, he'd be stuck there and unable to move on with himself. So he kept it in, tried to move on and not allow it to bother him.

Awake in this dark room, in the large bed Roxas felt the loneliness creep upon him. He sunk down, curling into the blankets and wishing for Axel to hold him tight. He was panicked by the dreams, despite being sure that Axel was fine. His heart battled his brain, wanting to call or text Axel while his brain argued it would be a pointless waste and rude to wake Axel over something so silly.

Roxas reached to the nightstand and picked up his phone. He simply held the device to his chest, knowing that he wouldn't disturb Axel's sleep over something so trivial. He scolded himself for allowing his need to take over and resolved to find some way to prevent dreams like these from happening again. Maybe he wasn't working hard enough, devoting his attention to his studies or work. If he didn't allow his brain to ponder his feelings he shouldn't have a problem.

Keeping his phone clasped tightly in his hands, Roxas settled in hopes of catching a few more hours of sleep. He was glad tomorrow was Sunday and that he wouldn't have to go in to work or school. He could sleep all day, because it seemed that his heart wouldn't let him sleep the rest of the night.

* * *

**Roxas' dream is actually based off a very similar dream I had about my ex. It was horrible and I did indeed wake up crying. I feel Rox****ie's pain.**

**Sorry it's shorter than before, but it's much easier for me to write. Reviews are appreciated!**


	5. Decisions

**Thank you all for the reviews! I lost my flash drive, hence the lateness ^^' Sorry about that!**

**Warnings: None**

**Please enjoy and happy reading!**

* * *

Roxas spent the following day out in town by himself. Something was going on with Hayner and Seifer and finding the two of them battling it out, Roxas decided that he would go out on his own and give the two the time to sort things out or whatever it was they needed to do. He had the faint belief that the two would end up solving the problem their usual way which was with sex, and he didn't want to be in the house when the happened.

It was Saturday so the shops around town were filled with busy shoppers. It was mid-morning and Roxas had poked around the stores, surprising himself with actually purchasing a new hoodie and jeans as well as a new book. He didn't have too much money to spare and he decided to stay out of the shops before more of his money was spent. He did allow himself to stop at _Hotto Keiki_ to grab a sweet pastry and some tea and perhaps sit and read on one of the couches in the café.

He hadn't paid much attention to the other customers in the shop. After escaping Yuffie, who insisted on chattering the entire time she fulfilled his order, Roxas settled onto one of the squishy couches that was thankfully unoccupied. It was as he was settling in, setting his newly purchased items on the floor next to his feet and placing his chai tea on the coffee table before him, that he heard his name being called. The person drew out his name as though they'd been calling for him for ages.

Roxas, startled, looked up and saw, at a table to his right, Zack Fair lounging back in his chair. He had his apron on, as he was working that day, and it didn't come as much of a surprise that he was skipping out on his duties and letting them fall on poor Yuffie. Roxas would have rolled his eyes, not exactly wanting to deal with Zack's chatter on top of what he had already endured from Yuffie. It was who were sitting with Zack that made Roxas' heart thump just a bit and an unwanted rosy color to come across his cheeks. Seeing Mr. Leonhart and Mr. Strife sitting so casually in the café, drinking their coffee and lightly chatting with each other was surprising at first until the reality that they were normal people dawned.

Roxas' cell phone was ringing in his pocket then, and he gratefully accepted the distraction. He took out his phone, answering without even glancing at the name, "Hello?"

"_Baby? You sound off."_

True enough, he had answered the phone with a dry throat and a bit of a squeak. He averted his eyes from his professors but saw movement in his peripheral vision. He hastily took a sip from his tea, which hadn't yet cooled, and effectively burned his tongue. "Sorry, hot tea. I'm in town right now," he explained. The movement in his peripheral hadn't, as he had so desperately hoped, been a figment of his imagination. There was a thump beside him and Zack's arm curling around his shoulders. Too alarmed to keep his focus, Zack was easily able to snatch Roxas' phone right from his hand.

"Perhaps I'm completely wrong, but this couldn't be my favorite ex-work buddy, could it?"

Roxas didn't even fight for his phone, knowing full and well that Zack could easily out do him in strength and height. Settling for mentally calling the man names, he reached down into his bag of new goodies and pulled out the book he'd gotten. It was a lost hope, he mused, thinking that simply reading or at least trying to read would distract himself long enough until Zack got bored with conversing with Axel. But it was only seconds after he turned the stiff cover of his book and got a small taste of that new book smell that someone else was demanding his attention.

"Good book. First time reading it?"

Roxas was getting fearful that his heart would give out if he was startled anymore during the day. Glancing up, he found Cloud Strife, TTCC English professor sitting in the couch directly across from his own. His brain seemed to die momentarily and he couldn't contemplate why. He'd talked with Mr. Strife before and after class, but these conversations mainly revolved around school and his own work. He had to look down at his own book to remember just what he had picked up in the bookstore: _The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao._

Words failed him and he felt like kicking himself for being so unnaturally nervous. "Uh, no, I haven't read it before." Cloud Strife wasn't exactly anything to be intimidated by. Sure, Roxas knew he could don a pretty fierce scowl and his passion for some of the literature they discussed could be intense, but his soft voice and effeminate looks didn't really amp up his intimidation factor. Had it been Mr. Leonhart that sat across from him, then the story would be entirely different as Squall Leonhart had those icy eyes and stoic demeanor.

Cloud seemed to pick up on Roxas' sudden nervousness and he leaned back into the couch, trying to appear as casual as he could. "I'm actually glad I ran into you, Roxas. I'm hoping to use some of my current student's essays as examples for a new class that the college might add. It's an advanced writing course, so I've been looking through my student's work to see whose I could use as example pieces. I'd love to use some of your essays, especially your creative writing pieces."

Now this was an unexpected turn of events. First off, Roxas was feeling rather flattered and elated that his professor was interested in his work, so much so that it would be a reference for future students. But he couldn't dwell on these good feelings for long, as Zack's voice drifted over. "Of course little Roxie is being taken care of. You've been holding out man, never telling me of the delicious sounds he makes, especially when you lick right _there."_ Zack turned to Roxas, the arm around the blonde's shoulder giving him a small shake, and winked. He pulled the phone away from his ear, grinning like an Olympic victor.

"Someone's mad," he laughed and handed the phone over to Roxas. Faint curses could be heard coming from speaker.

"Ax, he's joking, you know this," Roxas soothed when the phone was back against his ear. He threw a glare to Zack and was oddly pleased to see Mr. Strife do the same. Zack went on a childish defense to his best friend.

"_Imma kill him,"_ Axel threatened and Roxas was surprised to hear a genuinely ticked off tone with Axel's words. It wasn't as if this was the first time someone played around. Marluxia was the ever loving flirt, after all.

Roxas kept his focus from the argument that was spilling from the other two in the area. Mr. Leonhart approached, glancing between the two with a roll of the eyes. "Cool it. He didn't do anything and you know it. Zack likes to tease. Anyways, how's your morning been?"

Axel gave a long yawn. _"It's too early, but I couldn't sleep. Some bad dreams, I was up for half the night and the other half was spent working on my paper. What're you doing in town?"_

Roxas' stomach turned after hearing Axel was having bad dreams as well. He hoped they weren't anything like his own. The feelings of wanting to be with Axel as comfort swelled and made his heart ache. He missed him so much. "I figured I'd spend a day alone and went out browsing through stores. Hayner and Seifer aren't getting along, so I figured they needed time alone to sort things out and make up."

"_Ah, you didn't want to be around when they started fucking."_

Roxas bit down on the cringe that nearly made its way onto his face from Axel's crude yet true choice of words. "Basically. Why don't you try to sleep some more? It's only ten in the morning on a Saturday. It's very un-Axel-like for you to be awake right now." It seemed that Zack and Cloud cooled their argument. Roxas didn't notice her approach, as she came behind them, but Yuffie had apparently come to grab Zack. She smacked him across the back of his head.

"_I am pretty sleepy and my bed _is_ comfortable right now. Call me later, okay? I'll let you go back to enjoying your chai tea, two sugar packets and a splash of caramel macchiato creamer."_

Roxas smiled. "You know me so well. Sleep tight. Love you."

"_Love you too, baby. Later."_

When Roxas hung up, he found a pair of stormy gray-blue eyes pointed towards him. That intense look was what was supposed to make him nervous and he hastily turned his eyes down. "Cloud, you know better than to distract this slacker from work. He's like some kid with ADHD at a light show." She marched away and Zack admitted defeat. "I'll be off then. See you tomorrow, Rox. We're on schedule together."

As Zack stood and left, the two across from Roxas moved as well. "I think we've bothered you for long enough," Cloud spoke. Mr. Leonhart stood first. "Enjoy that book and let me know about that thing we talked about. You should think about joining the class in the spring." Mr. Strife's smile was encouraging and unlike any that Roxas had seen in class.

The two left, Cloud giving Zack a last wave as they approached the door. Roxas watched them, noticing the lack of space between the two English Professor's bodies and how, very subtly, their fingers would sometimes brush.

* * *

Everything seemed to be peaceful when Roxas arrived home in the afternoon. He'd noticed a missing car from the driveway while he pulled up in the Mercedes-Benz Sedan that he had _very_ reluctantly temporarily borrowed due to Mariana's insistence. He argued with himself that it was far better than the bright red Ferrari.

Walking into the house, he found it oddly quiet and grew a bit concerned. The entire downstairs was empty and nothing but the hum of the heater running could be heard. Curious, he set to the stairs and ascended, first dropping his new purchases off in his bedroom then venturing down to the door two away from his own. He knocked first, listening for a second before speaking, "Hayner?" and turned the doorknob. The door opened soundlessly.

It was a cloudy, fall day that would have offered little light to come through the balcony doors had the curtains not been closed. The room was shrouded in darkness but there was the unmistakable form of his best friend sitting on the bed. Roxas stepped through the threshold and approached Hayner was sitting on the edge of the bed, face down and his hands resting on his lap. Concerned with the lack of movement, Roxas sat beside Hayner, asking, "What happened?"

Seifer's car hadn't been in the garage or the driveway.

Hayner took in a shaky breath, one Roxas hadn't heard in quite a while. He remembered hearing it at least once when they were kids and Hayner had gotten hurt from a fall or whatnot. He hadn't heard it in years and never expected such a breath to fall from his friend's lips. Roxas reached a hand out, placing it over Hayner's thigh in a show of comfort and a motivator for him to talk. Eventually Hayner moved, sitting up a bit and splaying out an item across his hands.

The room really was dark and Roxas leaned in a bit to get a better look at what looked to be a small baggie. It looked empty at first, until his eyes adjusted and he was able to make out a small object, something round and white. It was a rock and at first he didn't comprehend what it meant.

"I knew he dabbled in smoking weed," Hayner confessed though it wasn't a mystery to Roxas anyways. He'd been able to smell it for a while now. "This is…I don't know what this means."

It clicked, after a long while of Roxas staring at the baggie. He felt a bit stupid for having not recognized the small rock was a bit of crack cocaine. "Where did you find it?" he asked as calmly as he could. His heart hammered in his chest suddenly, surely synchronizing with Hayner's own erratically beating heart. He had that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and when he looked up at Hayner, he saw how his friend's eyes were wet. Hayner never cried.

"He left an hour ago," Hayner spoke. He sounded oddly displaced, the usual fire in his tone erased and replaced with a mellowness that simply didn't belong. His hands clenched, fisting around the object in his hand. The bag crinkled and Hayner went on, "I can't even remember what we were initially arguing about. I know he had planned to leave today and I probably whined about wanting him home since I'm off. One of his buddies called, said something and then he just told me he was leaving. He changed his clothes and left, just like that."

Finding that Hayner's lip was trembling, Roxas was really alerted that it was completely possibly he might actually cry. He scooted closer, never believing he'd end up in such a situation, and brought his arms around Hayner's waist. "Where did you find it?" he asked again.

Hayner's answer was plain, lacking feeling, "I started doing the laundry, thinking it'd be a distraction." Roxas needed no further explanation. He rested his chin on Hayner's shoulder. It was hard to think that one of his oldest friends could be dealing with something like this. He felt betrayed, in a sense, and there was also an anger that sizzled within him. How in the world could Seifer involve himself in something like this? How could he lie to Hayner like he had? Roxas knew that Seifer had supposedly promised Hayner that he'd try to clean up his act, start to remove himself from the gang life across town but this proved that no true efforts were being made.

"You think he uses?" Roxas asked. He couldn't help that it escaped from his mouth and he almost felt sorry for saying it, wondering if Hayner had been thinking that. There was no telling what was going through his friend's mind. Hayner wouldn't look at him.

"I don't know."

There wasn't anything that could be done at the moment. Roxas was sure that Hayner would never call or text Seifer over this, nor would he appreciate Roxas getting involved. Hayner was a face-to-face person when it came to conflict. They'd have to wait until Seifer got home to resolve what was actually going on and there was no telling when Seifer would even get back home. He had a habit, Roxas knew, of not showing up multiple nights in a row. He often stayed out when Hayner had to work consecutive nights.

"Let's not think the worse. There might be some explanation. Can we give him the benefit of the doubt right now?"

Hayner was unresponsive. He took in another shaky breath before leaning over, the baggie falling to the floor with a soft hit, and rubbed at his eyes with his palms. Roxas sat up and tugged on Hayner's arm. "C'mon, let's go to my room and lay down. It'll be easier to talk in there, maybe, where his presence doesn't linger." Roxas hoped a different environment, free from Seifer's personal belongings, his smell, his memory, would be better. Hayner stood and walked out before Roxas. They both entered the room and Roxas moved the bedcovers so he could slip beneath them. Hayner mimicked his actions and they both lay in bed, closely tucked in together like when they were kids during cold winters. "Tell me what's been going on," Roxas insisted.

Their knees touched beneath the covers. "He seems to care more about being with them than here. I don't mean to sound like a brat, but I want him to be here with me. And I can't help but be concerned with what's happening over there." Hayner turned his brown eyes to Roxas, settling onto his side so he was facing his friend. "I was there last year. It didn't seem all that bad of a place; I never expected anything like this to come of it."

Roxas turned, facing Hayner. "Yeah, but wasn't Seifer getting shot at when you found him?" He put an emphasis on the fact that a gun had been present, trying to get reality to sink in that that place had never been safe and was potentially worse than "not all that bad." He couldn't allow Hayner to think that throwing caution to the wind was okay in this circumstance though he doubted he would. Roxas recalled seeing Seifer around with Hayner quite often during the springtime after they officially got together and during the summer. It was only in the past two or so months that he started playing the disappearing game and traveling the distance for the crew he hung out with.

As Hayner said, the bit of pot and alcohol wasn't something to fret terribly over though it obviously wasn't something that could continue if it interfered with their relationship. The sudden presence of the new drug in Seifer's dirty laundry raised far too many questions about what was really going on. "What's next?" Hayner asked with a cynical laugh. "Am I supposed to find out he's got some bimbo over there he's messing around with? Am I stuck in some stupid soap opera where he gets fed up with the fact that I work all night and study all day? Am I not putting out enough, or something?"

"Hayner, stop," Roxas chided. "You should know that's not it."

"Really, Roxas? He didn't start avoiding me until school started and my schedule got conflicted. What the hell else am I supposed to think?"

Roxas was actually grateful for Hayner's anger. It was far better than tears and showed that Hayner was dealing. "How do you know he's avoiding you? Look, if you two just talked instead of arguing, maybe you could understand what's going on with each other. _Tell him_ what's going on in your mind. Make him clear things up and tell the truth for once."

Hayner was shaking his head. "You don't know him like I do, Rox. He doesn't do emotions. He expresses himself physically, sometimes with words. Everything seemed like things would be already when we first came together, but it seems to be falling apart now."

Silence shrouded the two boys who lay curled together, best friends facing a dilemma with no clear solution. Roxas was hurt, but more, he was aching for Hayner. The things he had to go through for one guy. He didn't understand Seifer nor did he fully understand the relationship between the two. "Have you thought of maybe…?" He felt like a jerk for even thinking it. "Maybe you guys should split for a bit."

The silence stretched on, then, "I have. I don't like the idea. Thinking that he'd just move onto someone else. It seems in his character. I don't really know what I'm holding onto." Roxas was suddenly urged to find reasons why Hayner _should_ keep trying but it felt too contradictory to do when he just suggested Hayner leave Seifer. "I think," Hayner went on, "I'm too concerned about him at this point. I'm worried."

"You love him," Roxas concluded.

"Of course. But that's as far as it goes, it seems. You know he's never once told me he loves me," Hayner confessed. His lips upturned in a sad smile. "I feel it from him, at least I used to. But it could be my own delusions."

Roxas was filled with such emotion and felt the need to comfort his best friend. He moved close, their bodies pressed flush together and wrapped one arm around Hayner's waist, maneuvered the other under his shoulders and hugged Hayner tightly. He didn't admit it, but Roxas knew that Hayner appreciated physical forms of comfort. It was easier for him than comprehending words and it meant so much more. Hayner hugged back, their foreheads coming together in what may have looked to be an intimate gesture and it was, in terms of their close friendship. Hayner was grateful for Roxas' support and at this moment, Roxas was contented with getting the comfort he needed in return. Hayner was a stable support for him.

The door opened.

"Rox?"

It was a voice he'd been craving to hear in person since he'd last heard it over a month ago. He wasn't expecting it and jumped, still tangled together with Hayner. He looked back over his shoulder, finding Axel standing in the doorway, green eyes looking at the pair, eyebrow raised, and arms crossed.

* * *

**I'm trying guys, I'm sorry. This is getting difficult for me to write, but I'm hashing through it. My writing just isn't what it used to be –sigh-**


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